What does obedience mean? How do we discern what is right and what is not? When do I move and when do I stay? What is the Holy Spirit and what is of the flesh?
How do I make a huge decision that feels like God but requires mountains of faith?
For me, it came down to prayer and patience.
After three and half years at a job that I have enjoyed immensely I am moving on to something different. I will no longer be the Executive Director for Jackson County Habitat for Humanity. I’m making a leap.
It began almost two years ago. I had trouble feeling settled. While I was and am extremely grateful for my role, it was really tough. A great learning experience and wonderful mission but it wore me thin at times. I don’t think this is terribly unusual but I was not used to it and I got antsy. I became discontent and wanted out, wanted something else, and started to ask God for that exact thing. After several months of praying and, frankly, pouting, guess what? Nothing happened. God didn’t seem to show up. Or did He? I got this feeling that I needed to go all in where I was. That God was telling me to stay put and be patient, but do it whole-heartedly. Really sell out, you know? So that’s what I did. I bought in, doubled down, began working harder and praying for big things within my organization and you know what, God granted them. The momentum started to grow and things started to evolve for the better. I was feeling pretty good about it all. A few months into my newfound contentedness, God decided to whisper again. And if I’m honest it was super inconvenient. I had just done what he asked and decided to settle in for the long haul when no sooner than a few months had gone by and He decided to drop a bomb. To be clear, I never heard words or saw visions I simply got closer. The closer I got to Him the more he started to reveal.
The short version is that I am transitioning out of my role as Executive Director. The job that I prayed for. The job that I went to school to do. The job that I’m pretty damn good at. It’s all coming to an end at the end of the year. And while it doesn’t make much sense on the outside, I have felt an incredible sense of peace on the inside. I heard recently that having peace with a decision is God’s way of validating it. I sure hope that’s true because that is the one thing I’m sure about, peace.
I don’t do this enough and I’m not sure we as a group of believers do it enough, but would you pray for me? Would you pray that I continue to be obedient and trust this? Even when it gets tough and the new wears off, pray that I will be strong and follow His voice. I sure would appreciate it.