I am reading through John and currently in chapter four. There was a verse that stood out to me and raised a considerable amount of questions. Here it is:
48 “Unless you people see signs and wonders,” Jesus told him, “you will never believe.”John 4:48
I would encourage you now to read John 4:43-54
What do you think when you read that passage? When I read those verses it sounds like Jesus was irritated, like he’s frustrated that we have the desire to see things before we will believe them. Just like the guy in this story asking Jesus to heal his son in person, so he can see it, we also want to see. Maybe I’m reading it wrong and Jesus wants us to see things in order to believe in him but that seems counter to the gospel. It seems to be in direct conflict with how we understand faith. Jesus couldn’t help but do good, that’s who He is, but what if He got tired of people not believing He was divine and always wanting a miracle?
Why do we desire to see? Why is faith a daily struggle?
What if Jesus was performing more than what was the will of God in His time as a man? What if He came to Earth and realized how broken we actually were and decided that He needed to put on a show in order for us to see, to believe, to have faith? I think there are things in the Bible that happened because of this. How often have you prayed for healing that didn’t come like you read in the Bible? Or how many times have you prayed for something to change in the moment and it took years for you to see it play out? The Bible makes everything look immediate, and what if it was? But what if that was a time and a place scenario? The supremecy of Christ had to be on display somehow. Don’t let me sway you one way or another but it feels like Jesus came and did some things that were out of the ordinary, aka signs and wonders, that may or may not be the status quo for God. What if God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit did things abnormally for the sake of getting our attention?
The Lords prayer teaches us to say “let your will be done.” What if Jesus came and did all that He did so that we would trust Him and His timing? What if instead of trying to move mountains with our prayers and constantly wanting to see a sign or wonder, we prayed for God’s will to be done? And then had faith. We still want to see, instead of trust. We want our ending, not His.
Our questions should not drive a wedge between us and Jesus. In fact, they should help us grow closer, desire Him more. It’s okay to question. It’s okay to not know.
This post is more about me wrestling through my thoughts than it is offering solutions. I, in no way, own the answers to life’s biggest questions. I don’t ever want that to be the assumption just because I feel led to write about spiritual things. I have questions and doubts and I struggle right on through them. I welcome feedback and input.